Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
