Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize