He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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