I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
