You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
