I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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