3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
