All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize