I wish I could teleport
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
