I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize