But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
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I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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