On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
