Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
