2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
