Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
