Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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