did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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