There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
