Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
