some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
