I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
