Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
