Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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