My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
