Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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