Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
there was a trapeze. enough said
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
