I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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