kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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