She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
