Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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