I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
