Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
