i would punch a child for taco bell
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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