You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
