so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
