who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
