Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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