they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
