ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
