Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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