Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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