Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
