Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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