oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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