they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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