woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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