Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
