sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
