I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
