So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My life is pants optional.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
