i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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