On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
