Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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