just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
