I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice