fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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